


Droplets between us (keeping us together)

by Natsumi



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Canon, They are so in love it's incredible, showering together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9503141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natsumi/pseuds/Natsumi
Summary: “What are you looking at?” Yuuri asks quietly, voice muffled by the blanket.“...You.” Victor has to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. “Always you.”If Victor could stop the world for just a second to allow Yuuri to catch his breath, he would. Unfortunately, that isn’t possible.They’re both tired. There are ways to deal with it.





	

Victor knows it the instant he opens the door and enters his-, _no_ , _their_ (the thought still gives him a thrill) apartment. He can see it in the way Yuuri’s shoes are still in the exact same spot that they were when Victor left three days ago to meet with potential sponsors in Moscow. It had been three days of being overly polite and formal, long (waaay too long) meetings, and signing of, in his opinion, several unnecessary contracts. He had known from experience how those days would turn out beforehand, which is why he’d declined Yuuri’s offer of coming along with him and asked him to stay in St. Petersburg instead.

Still, he gets a bitter taste in his mouth when he sees the shoes. Yuuri likes keeping his environment organized and tidy, but he definitely isn’t obsessive about it, which is why Victor frowns when he sees them. They haven’t moved an inch since he left; one still slightly on top of the other. He hasn’t left the apartment. Not once. Victor is aware that he might be overreacting, but this last year has also made him into a pretty good judge of his fiancé’s mood. When Yuuri stays in, he either doesn’t have a reason to leave, or his anxiety is acting up.

He can name at least three reasons for Yuuri to go outside off the top of his head. One: training. Two: to get groceries. Three: eat dinner with Yakov’s team. He knows for a fact that the last one was already arranged because he was there when they planned it. So, Victor worries. (God, how he worries sometimes.)

“Yuuri? It’s just me. I’m home,” he calls out to the silent apartment while putting his suitcase down on the floor in the hallway.

No response.

His heart speeds up slightly, feeling like a bird trapped in his chest that just wants to fly right out. Out to make sure Yuuri is okay.

He tells himself sternly to calm down; he’s probably just in the living room (he has to be, or the bird in his chest is going to tear him apart).

And he is. Of course he is.

Victor takes a deep, relieved breath at the sight of his fiancé curled up safe and sound on the couch, asleep. He crouches down next to him and runs a hand gently through his hair, a smile quickly replacing the frown that had taken up residence in his face when he’d seen the untouched shoes. The room is filled with the soft sound of some animated Japanese movie playing on the TV, making his previous worries seem trivial. Victor knows instinctively that they aren’t. At least not entirely.

“Solnishko,” he says softly, cupping the other man’s face with a warm hand. “Are you really going to sleep through my long-awaited return? I’m hurt.” The theatricality in his voice comes naturally, but there’s an unsure edge to it this time.

Yuuri shifts slightly and opens a pair of bleary, brown eyes. (The warmest eyes he knows, competition simply doesn’t exist). “...Hi.” And Victors swears his heart swells two sizes.

“Hi yourself. Sleepy?”   

It takes a while before he answers, but the low hum he receives in reply tells him less than what he already sees. Yuuri isn’t sleepy, he’s downright _exhausted_ , Victor thinks as he takes in the dark circles under his eyes and the way he holds himself just a little wong when he eventually brings himself to a sitting position.

“I guess I haven’t been sleeping that well,” Yuuri confesses, and the fact that he is actually choosing to tell the truth relieves Victor just as much as it always does ( _he trusts me with this_ ). But he can also sense the anxiety practically coming off of this incredible man in murky waves. This man who has lightened up his life in every way imaginable since that night at the banquet.

He feels so many things around him, loves him so ridiculously much that he sometimes wants to cry. Yuuri having to deal with near constant anxiety just doesn’t seem fair, but that’s how it is. And they deal with it in any way they can, no matter how angry Victor can get at the world just for letting it happen. It isn’t close to easy, and it often leaves both of them on edge, frustration boiling under their skin.

But they deal with it.

They sit in comfortable silence for a while, Victor still crouched on the floor in front of Yuuri. At this point, he doesn’t bother asking any further about how he feels, because he can see it in the way his hand shakes when he rubs at his eyes. Sometimes, Yuuri is easiest to read when he isn’t talking at all. (Other times, Victor will listen to him for hours and learn a little more with each beautifully pronounced syllable).

His legs are starting to hurt.  

“How was it?” Yuuri asks after a while, resting a trembling hand on Victor’s shoulder. He spreads his fingers out and ghosts his thumb over his collarbone. “Everything go okay?”

“I’m surprised I didn’t keel over from boredom, honestly. So many meetings.” He pouts and rests his forehead on Yuuri’s knees. “And after that, you’ll never guess it… More meetings!”  

He looks up, needing to see those eyes again. Yuuri smiles briefly at him before looking away. Eye-contact is difficult right now. _That’s okay_ , he thinks, _it isn’t necessary right now either_. There’s a comfortable understanding between them, but also a heaviness in the air that makes Victor want to run.

He sighs.

“I’m going to take a shower and get rid of this airport smell, do you want to join me?”

“There’s no such thing as airport smell, you’re making that up,” Yuuri says, a hint of amusement evident in his tone.

“What? No, there totally is. Come on, let’s go shower.”

“I missed you.”

Victor takes the hand that is still resting on his shoulder and stands up to pull his fiancé into a hug. As usual, he has trouble believing how perfect they fit around each other, how soft Yuuri’s cheek is against his neck. He often catches himself wondering how on earth he ever lived without having him pressed against his chest.

(As an empty shell of a man, hoping and wishing for something more, something worth fighting for.)

“I missed you too. So much.”

○○○

Showering has always had a calming effect on Yuuri, Victor knows. He may not have an onsen lying around, but this he can give him. A chance to slow his racing thoughts a bit.

Besides, he really wasn’t joking about the airport smell.

They undress side by side in the bathroom, leaving their clothes in piles on the floor. (He’ll tidy up later, it can wait.) For now, they’ll just focus on winding down together. It’s late, and Victor, ever the early riser, is already longing for their bed. He never really realised how much he hates sleeping alone until he didn’t have to anymore.

Or maybe it’s just painful to sleep without Yuuri near.

He keeps a hand on Yuuri’s lower back as they step into the shower, the close confines forcing them into each other’s space.

Before, being vulnerable like this in a non-sexual situation would have made his skin crawl, but with Yuuri… It feels right in a way he doesn’t quite know how to put into words. He likes that they can be close like this, skin touching skin. It’s nice. Safe.

The spray of water from the shower feels heavenly, the pressure easing his tired muscles. Yuuri lets out an appreciative hum when he increases the heat, and wraps his arms around Victor’s waist, resting his head against his chest. For a while, they just stand like that, letting the warm water rain down on them. He keeps one hand tangled up in Yuuri’s wet hair, the other rubbing wide circles into his naked back.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?” he asks, lips near Yuuri’s ear.

A slow nod against his chest.

He releases Yuuri to reach for the bottle of shampoo and gets a good amount in his palm before working his hands into his black hair. The smell of coconut fills the room, and the familiarity of it brings a smile to his face.

Only three days. Yet, it had been three days too many.

The shampoo starts foaming as he uses his fingers to massage it gently in, making sure not to get it into his eyes. He keeps this up for longer than is probably strictly necessary, but the slight cramp in his right wrist is completely worth it when Yuuri takes a proper, deep breath and leans into him more, trust evident in his posture. (He’d worked so hard to establish that trust, spent so much time convincing Yuuri that he really wanted to stay with him. And Yuuri had let him in, slowly but surely.)

He was so, so incredibly grateful for that trust.

Yuuri had come into his life unexpectedly, at just the right time. He knows that his fiancé sometimes won’t let himself believe just how much he’s done for Victor, how much he’s helped him just by being himself.

It makes him sad to think about it, and he can’t wait for the day when he’ll say “you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me”, and then Yuuri will reply with “I know” instead of looking away with a blush.

Even if it’s the last thing he does, Victor will make sure he knows exactly just how important he is.  

“Rinse?” Victor asks, letting his soapy hands rest just above Yuuri’s hipbones.

Yuuri takes another one of those good, deep breaths and nods. He detaches from Victor and moves to stand directly under the spray of water again, letting it wash away the shampoo.

Meanwhile, Victor takes the opportunity to wash himself, revelling in the pleasant feeling of soap on his skin after a busy day.

When they’re done, Yuuri more or less relaxed against him, Victor reluctantly turns off the shower and steps into what feels like a considerably colder room in contrast to the warm spray of water he’d been standing under just a second earlier.

He shivers, and gratefully takes the white towel Yuuri offers him.

“Are you going to sleep now?” Yuuri asks, drying himself off.

“Ah, I think so. It’s been a long day, and I’ve really missed our bed.”

“You were staying at a pretty fancy hotel. I would have thought they had high-quality beds there.”

“Not at all! It felt like sleeping on a floor. A very bulky floor.”

“So spoiled.” Yuuri shakes his head, but Victor can sense the underlying affection in his voice.

“I’m not spoiled, I just appreciate a good night’s sleep in a bed that doesn’t leave my back aching!”

“You mean a ridiculously expensive bed, like ours. But what do I know? Maybe you’re just being particular again.”  

Yuuri gives his bicep a teasing squeeze before heading to their bedroom to change into clean clothes.   

“I’m not spoiled!” Victor calls after him, and he finds himself chuckling, happiness filling his chest.

He doesn’t follow Yuuri immediately, knowing he sometimes needs some space for a while. Instead, he wraps the towel around his waist and starts his usual night time routine, fatigue making his movements slow.

Yuuri probably won’t go to bed now, Victor knows, despite the fact that he obviously needs sleep. He gets restless at night, especially when he’s like this, and usually ends up staying up later than what is good for him. (Oh, how Victor wishes he could help. Sometimes, though, he can’t.)

When he’s done in the bathroom, Victor picks up their discarded clothes from the floor and throws in the laundry basket, turning the lights off as he heads for the bedroom. However, what he sees there makes him stop in the doorway, a surprised smile on his face.

Yuuri is lying in their bed, blankets wrapped snugly around him, covering him all the way up to his nose.

Their eyes meet.

“What are you looking at?” Yuuri asks quietly, voice muffled by the blanket.

“...You.” Victor has to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. “Always you.”

A blush colours Yuuri’s cheeks. ( _Beautiful, how can someone be so beautiful?_ )

“Well... I’m kind of cold. Come here?”

Victor doesn’t have to be asked twice. He closes the door before proceeding further into the room, unwraps the towel from around himself, and finally,  _finally_ , he’s lying beside Yuuri again.

A sigh escapes his lips as he feels his muscles relaxing properly for what feels like the first time in three days, the smell of himself and Yuuri filling his nose.

Yuuri opens the cocoon he’s made of the blankets, inviting Victor in without saying anything. Not shutting him out like he had done those dreadful first few weeks in Japan, like he still does sometimes, if only to protect himself. _He does want me here_ , Victor thinks, and tucks it away in his heart like he does with every little piece of confirmation. _He does._   

Then, they’re enveloped in each other again (and again, and again). Yuuri’s breath is warm on his neck where he’s settled down, cheek pressed against his naked shoulder, one hand splayed directly over Victor’s heart.

Victor has to squeeze his eyes shut hard for a moment, the intense emotions overwhelming him. When he opens them again, he wraps his free arm tightly around Yuuri.

“Are you okay?” he finally allows himself to ask, the need to hear him say it still there, simmering beneath.

Yuuri is quiet for a while, but it’s a good quiet this time. Thoughtful.  

“Yes,” he confirms after thinking about it, and places a slow kiss on Victor’s chin. “Are you?”

“Definitely.”

And it’s true, he realises. (It’s so, so true).

He closes his eyes, burying his nose in Yuuri’s hair.

Sleep comes easily.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I haven't posted anything on here in over two years now. Hello!  
> I'm so in love with their love that I just had to write something, hopefully the result turned out alright. There's nothing like a healthy relationship, and these two definitely fit right into that category. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are highly appreciated, I love hearing your thoughts. ♥


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